Humour

Happy Halloween

Well, not much in the way of Halloween here in China, but that doesn't mean I can't get in the spirit. I'm considering buying one of the pumpkin-esque squashes at my local market and seeing if I couldn't put the knife to it creatively… they're a bit small, and I've no idea that their insides …

October 31, 2006
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Laowai Gives Free Driver’s Ed.

I don't know how many times I've watched absolutely retarded things go down in China and said to myself, "I really should kick that guy in the teeth for cutting off that old women shuffling across the street" or "I should have just let that bitch on the bike hit me, instead of jumping out …

October 27, 2006
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Someone Thinks I’m Funny

Hey, I was trolling around the blogs of a few fellow China bloggers the other day, catching up on stuff that I’ve let slide since coming back to China in August. I stumbled upon some surprising news… I was nominated for a Best China Blog: Humor award. Now, I get the sense – mostly from …

October 4, 2006
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Cheques My Ass Can’t Cash

I can’t win. I really can’t. I finally get my first pay cheque in like three months and decide I want to take the missus out to celebrate her recently landing of a yoga instructor job. I’ve been dying to check out this Spanish restaurant, El Meson de Carmen, that is not too far away …

September 30, 2006
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250 Ways To Stupid

Since arriving in China there has been one answer that I’ve quested for more than any other. Weeks into living here, I was given precious information that would leave me ‘in the know’ many times during my stay in China. It was whispered to me in the busy halls of a Dalian Carrefour supermarket by …

September 16, 2006
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Foreign People Zoo

Alright, so Chinese people want to stare at us laowai. It’s time we quit complaining and start cashing in. The “like a monkey in a zoo” thing is something I got chatting with a friend about once and he had the wonderful suggestion that I might just bank on. As I started to delve into …

September 14, 2006
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Funeral Funnery

It would seem we’ve a lot to learn in the West from Chinese funeral planners. I just stumbled on the following AFP article via The Hao Hao Report (thanks Steve). Those that plan to handle my remains, take note: China cracks down on striptease funerals Thu Aug 24, 10:13 AM ET China may be giving …

August 27, 2006
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Cheeky 403

With recent world events, I’m getting a bit apprehensive about travel home in four days. Not so much because I think someone might get a bottle of shampoo through security and put it in my eye (man, that stings!). What I’m worried about are those damn security checks and the delays they may bring. I …

August 11, 2006
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How To Spot A Jap

It’s no secret in Western countries it is oft whispered among the Whities that when it comes to Asians, “they all look the same to us”. I had always assumed this was just our inherent racism, and once you got to know the cultures and such, it would be much easier to say what nationality …

July 9, 2006
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Frigin’ Flags

Being a Canadian it goes somewhat against our (lack of) national identity to watch any sport other than hockey when the Stanley Cup is on… however, in China the madness is all about the quest for a different Cup. Of course I’m talking World Cup. Yup, for any Canucks reading this, there is indeed a …

June 12, 2006
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