Respect To The 中国人

“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life.” – Chinese Proverb (because THEY know how to eat the bastards!)

Just finished trying to put down a 1/2 mug of this instant oatmeal beverage that my co-worker Pam gave me ages ago. You might ask why, after just eating lunch, do I need to consume breakfast products. You might ask, but I doubt it. So, the reason is… fish. To put it frankly, I hate fish. I mean, I’ve got nothing against them. I’d give my seat to one on a bus, I’d say hello to it on the street. But my politeness ends there.

These little refusers of evolution were born with more bones than they could possibly know what to do with. I understand we all deserve a suitable framework by which our meat can cling to – but c’mon!

I’ve never been much of a fish eater, but I certainly don’t shy away from a nice chunk of salmon, or if I’m really lucky a properly prepared bit of ahi tuna. Notice that these are both rather meaty fish.

Sadly, meaty fish are not on my school’s lunch menu. Only scrawny, slow ones. I swear that the main reason for the serving of fish here is for the sole (pun intended?) purpose of humiliating the laowai. I sit there painfully trying to remove what little meat I can find, covering myself in fish bits and intermitantly lodging sliver-like bones in my throat… only to look around and see a room full of Chinese people (the aformentioned 中国人) sucking the meat off like it’s as easy as Paris Hilton. (ok, that pun actually wasn’t intentional… but I couldn’t change it, I just couldn’t).

Right, so fish. Bane of my esophagus. Unebater of my hunger. Killer of my pride. Swimmer of my fish tank.

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